Cooking with Kikyo!
by ChiptuneImpulse
Summary: Discontinued, sorry.
1. Default Chapter

Me: Well this is new…hehehe…read and review oh and this isn't a romance fiction! Oh, lets just say that books were invited in this time and so were kitchen appliances, (I didn't want to turn this into a television show)

The villagers kept asking Kikyo to heal someone or to help them to cook something. It wasn't that she liked to help people it's just that, getting nagged all day was difficult for someone such as a miko to protect the jewel. When this started she thought a powerful demon had controlled everyone's minds, so that the shikin no tama was to be left unguarded. In order to help people, she decided to have Inuyasha and her sensei to watch the jewel, so that she could teach the villagers how to cook.

Kikyo told her sensei to watch Inuyasha carefully or else he might steal the jewel. Inuyasha promised not to do anything or else he would punish himself by not seeing Kikyo in a way that seemed harsh. (To him) Kikyo told everyone to begin by picking up fresh vegetables or herbs from the nearby mountains. Kikyo had to act like a school teacher so she decided to become the nice yet strict kind. She asked Inuyasha to get some supplies that way the process would be faster to get some of the ingredients. Some of the children in the village whispered to each other that Inuyasha looked like little red riding hood. (Except without the hood)

Day one

Kikyo started to prepare her books, ingredients, and cleaned around her outdoor school of cooking. Inuyasha was wondering if she wanted to know something, but, he decided to keep it to himself as he thought about what might happen if she wasn't focused about cooking. Kikyo looked at Inuyasha, with calm peaceful eyes, Inuyasha returned the look, but, with sad gold eyes. Inuyasha was half demon meaning he could live forever, while Kikyo was only human and her time to live would end as soon as death decided to take her. Inuyasha didn't want to think of this, but, it bothered him a bit, there was one solution to this problem, but it might go against Kikyo's means. Around the dead of night Inuyasha got up from beside Kikyo. (They live in the same hut with Keade) He walked up to the temple and grabbed the Shikin no Tama. He closed his eyes, thought and took in deep breaths. He put back the jewel and decided to do this another time.

Later that day, Kikyo arose from her slumber. She patted Inuyasha's head. (Girls start to grow with jealousy) and she started to towards her school. She thought about the time this would take away from her and guarding the jewel, but most of all Inuyasha.

After her class settled down, she started to talk about some safety rules, and gave everyone mittens, apron and goggles. First they were going to start out with something simple. She instructed the class to cut tofu. (Inuyasha cuts tofu wind scar style!) After the tofu was cut she instructed for the class to cut some herbs. Some of the men got amused and cut his like a sushi chef. Next she instructed for everyone to experiment with some sauce. Everyone had his or her special secret whether it was soy sauce, lemons juice, and teriyaki sauce, the one key ingredient is; how is it made. Pepper sauce, spices of exotic kinds, and some other ingredients to make soup were added. Last warm water was poured into the soup bowl and the outdoor house smelled like a steaming bath house. This scent caught up to many people. One in particular was a wolf who was dating a teenage student. His name was Koga.

Me: More on the way!


	2. LOL

Cooking 2

Day two

Kikyo didn't have anything in mind to prepare for school, so she decided to make alphabet soup. The problem was that when ever she to cut a letter out with the macaroni, if ended up as lower case l's. (Inuyasha wind scars again!) The only other letter she could cut was o's. She decided to work with that.

The next day some of the men and women brought their children. Kikyo thought of having a child, but now wasn't the time. Everyone got quiet and Kikyo passed out macaroni letters of Os. For the scent part they added chicken, and noodles. Everyone poured the Ls, and Os, and Kikyo told everyone to get out water after the macaroni got moist, she asked everyone to add ingredients for soup. (Again) When everyone was done, some of the children and adults were screaming.

"My soup is making fun of me!" complained one old man.

"Mine's laughing at me" A little girl screamed

"I think mine is going to haunt me if I eat it." One of the women screamed.

(If you know were I based those jokes off of… sorry)

After the cloud of confusion cleared, everyone had circle eyes, with waterfall, dark clouds pouring above his or her head or some of the old men were chanting

"Demon or ghosts be gone!"

Kikyo could only slap her forehead. In another part of the town Koga went up to the school and started to eat the "haunted" soup. Everyone praised him, but Kikyo talked to him.

"If your hungry sir, I can help you so that you can eat whenever you're hungry." Kikyo informed the half wolf.

Koga thought to himself.

"This is women's work, but if I do cook for myself and other half demons in my tribe then they'll praise me… or make fun of me."

Koga decided it was batter than eating meat all the time. He accepted to be the new student and he asked his clan to go with him, or die by his hand.

As the day progressed… The humans and the wolves got along. Koga did everything by hand, chopping, mixing, or his favorite chopping.

Kikyo's new student seemed to be doing well. As for the wondering of Inuyasha this is how it went.

"You know Kikyo is a somewhat daughter to me" Sensei Yokita informed Inuyasha.

"Yes sir, I will take care of Kikyo until her death."

Me: Sorry for cliffhangers, anyways what is Inuyasha planning? Will Kikyo have more students? Never mind, I'll let you read what happens next time!

Next time: The village idiot will be introduced, fish will be made and what is Inuyasha planning?


	3. Fitch

Me: Sorry I didn't update I had to think for a while.

In a tree we see someone with a female figure and she seems to be laughing to herself.

"I'll destroy Kikyo's class so that I can wish to be uh..." The girl jumped without finishing her sentence, and landed on the floor in pain. Kikyo was at the river looking at her reflection. Kikyo was still somewhat confused as to what to do next. She knew that her cooking class was a success but what if she ran out of ideas? She looked at the water and a fish jumped out in front of her. She caught it and had an idea.

The next day (It's been about five months since I updated) everyone gathered at an out door classroom.

"Today class I will teach you how to cook fish, without burning it." Kikyo informed them.

"We need crushed powder and herbs for the soup. As for the fish everyone brings one fish from any stream of water you can find, just make sure it's not from dirty water. Also try to help each other if you can." She instructed.

Everyone went to the river, meanwhile from the shadows the same girl at the begging of the chapter talked to herself. She was now behind a tree near the class.

"First I need to cause some trouble adding itching powder to the um…" Again she left without finishing her sentences.

She worked quickly by leaving poison on the tools. (She's wearing gloves)

Before she could perform her next task she heard people talking.

"Is that you God?" She asked.

She spotted the class coming back and ran into a tree, and then see jumped into a bush…full of poison ivy.

"Now that we caught the fish I want everyone to make a fire, and gather wood. Don't burn the fish though." Kikyo instructed more.

Everyone gathered wood and started to make a fire. After some blistered hands, sweat and burns everyone was cooking their fish. After, the fish was done cooking everyone had to pick it up with foil or flip it over with a rice scooper. As soon as everyone touched their rice scooper they began to itch like crazy. The wolf tribe in particular had fleas and it was getting the dirt and fleas into the other fishes the villagers had. Everyone had run in different directions causing a big mess. Kikyo wide eyed could only stare in disbelief. Inuyasha came to check what was going on, and Kikyo told him that fleas were everywhere. Kikyo told him gather the villagers together before a bigger chaos ensues. He then goes to gather the villagers as the wolf tribe ran to a mountain to cleanse themselves of the vile beasts.

Me: Sorry it was short. Please review.


	4. The Salesmen

Me: Another short, sorry.

Around 4 hours later at around 5 P.M. things begin to settle down, and the whole village was is in a mess. Kikyo's rival, Tsubaki , walking stopped at Kikyo's house.

"Nice work Kikyo, although you're a priestess your actions today have been like that of a demon." Tsubaki mocked.

"Are you here to talk or leave?" Kikyo asked calmly.

"Since you're teaching these peasants and demons how to cook, I thought that I should take the jewel for myself."

"Inuyasha and our master are looking after it."

"How do you know your boyfriend won't steal it?" She asked.

"Master has put a charm around Inuyasha, if he were to touch the jewel the charm would be activated and he would never be able to take the charm off."

"Fine, but Kikyo, once you love, you lose all spiritual power, remember that"… (And then the jewel will be mine)" She told her (self).

She left, and Kikyo only had a bad feeling look. Inuyasha out near the hut heard what Tsubaki had said. He left for the forest that night to sleep in the trees. Kikyo went to bed in the small hut, and her sister stayed up warming up by the fire.

The next day, Kikyo decided to clean, but she would need some help, since she's cleaning the whole village. Meanwhile someone was hiding the bushes watching.

"Kikyo stopped sweeping some dirt out of the village, when she sensed something.

"Come out coward." Kikyo demanded.

A figure walked out slowly and stopped in front of her.

"Who are you?"

"Naraku, would you care to but a business product of mine?"

Kikyo was confused.

"Are you not a demon?"

"Yes, but would you like to buy my product?"

"What is this product?" She asked, slightly closing her eyes.

"Its…Bug-B-Gone!" He said, pulling a can of flea killers out.

(How convenient) Kikyo thought.

"Only the price of a Shikon jewel!" He exclaimed, with confetti behind him falling like leaves.

Kikyo only stared in disbelief, and then asked for proof to see if it worked. Naraku opened the can and then sprayed it on a nearby flea. The flea quickly stopped moving and that's was it. Kikyo however was hesitant, since Naraku wanted the jewel.

"Sorry, but I'm not interested."

"Very well."

He disappeared in a cloud of miasma, and went towards a mountain.

(Is he responsible for the chaos earlier?) Kikyo thought.

Me: Sorry short again, I got a new rule, every review equals new chapter of reviewed story, or I update every story with one chapter a year, because I might get busy with school starting soon.


	5. Kagome revisited

I would like to thank the latest reviewer (TheShadowsOfDarkness), for giving me inspiration for creating this chapter! I also read recently, that Inuyasha is DragonBallZ for girls…

Chapter 5: Village Idiot Explanation

Narrator: On the last time on In-Yu-Yas-HA! Inuyasha was planning something! The village idiot actually created a plan, Koga ran like a wuss and Kikyo was cleaning! Yeah…I quit, this script is lame!

Narrator leaves and the author steps in

Author: …hums DragonBallZ theme

Before chapter 3

"So Kagome, you want Inuyasha to be your play thing?"

"Yeah!" Kagome yelled in excitement like a little girl

"All right then I'll help you, but only because it gets me closer to the jewel!"

"You're gay?"

"You can talk?

"I dunno…Naraku-kun!"

"YOU TOLD THEM MY REAL NAME!"

"What are you talking about? There's no one else here!"

"Aren't you an idiot?"

Later

"Ok, and that's my plan. Did you get it?"

"…"

"Kagome?"

"I luv Inuyasha, with the ph3ir 0f a th0$and $un$!" Kagome said in leet.

Naraku slaps his head

Another later

"All right, Kagome do you get it…now?"

"I dunno"

Another later

"Now?"

"Now what?"

Naraku slaps his head

Once again

"Now?"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"Maybe"

Another later

"I got it!"

"Really?"

"Huh? No I got the Inuyasha plushie!"

Naraku slaps himself

"Now? Now? NOW!"

"Won?"

"NOW!"

"…yeah"

"Finally!"

"I've always known!"

"…." Naraku screws up his face with a double take

"I'm supposed to be acting like; an idiot remember?"

END

Author: Sorry it was short


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